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May 10, 2011
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. >> jon: yes. >> i believe it was a wedding, i think. >> jon: i see. what if i googled... is there... would the william and... uh... middle... kate. >> yes. >> jon: do you think that they are in england as big a deal as they were here or do you think americans were more fascinated? >> it was a big deal here. wasn't it. >> jon: we stopped everything. >> did you? were you there? >> jon: stopping or in england? >> were you stopping in england. >> jon: we were not allowed to even use the footage from inside the church. the royal family had put out i guess they call them a decree. >> oh. >> jon: they said that you are not allowed to use the footage for satirical purposes. only to comment... there were only three things you were allowed to say, comment on the footage. you were allowed to say (ha-ff-) they made it so that you couldn't make jokes. >> did they really? really? i'm sorry. i feel like i should apologize. i'm terribly sorry. >> jon: this is not you. >> this is not my fault. okay. >> jon: it's kind of in some ways crystalizes the relationship between the two countries.
. >> jon: yes. >> i believe it was a wedding, i think. >> jon: i see. what if i googled... is there... would the william and... uh... middle... kate. >> yes. >> jon: do you think that they are in england as big a deal as they were here or do you think americans were more fascinated? >> it was a big deal here. wasn't it. >> jon: we stopped everything. >> did you? were you there? >> jon: stopping or in england? >> were you stopping in...
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May 26, 2011
05/11
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>> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. what a show for you tonight. actress karen knightly will be joining us tonight. but first let's move on to what the latest developments are in the death of osama bin biden. what? is there any one of our leaders names that can not be confused with osama bin laden? anyway, i've shooting bin laden in the head and throwing him in the ocean... do you want me to soft sell this to you? no. there's really only one last bit unfinished business to go through all of this (beep). as it turns out bin laden was a rare combination. not only was he evil, he was lame. >> a new picture of osama bin laden is emerging tonight. >> a haggard osama bin laden watching himself on tv. >> sitting on the floor covering by a blanket, remote control in hand. >> jon: just sitting there all alone, gray, rocking back and forth. watching tv. wrapped in a blanket. cause he's cold but too damned cheap to turn the heat on. this guy, this guy, this guy... wait a minute. can i see that shot of me wa
>> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. what a show for you tonight. actress karen knightly will be joining us tonight. but first let's move on to what the latest developments are in the death of osama bin biden. what? is there any one of our leaders names that can not be confused with osama bin laden? anyway, i've shooting bin laden in the head and throwing him in the ocean... do you want me to soft sell this to you? no. there's really only one last bit unfinished...
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Sep 17, 2011
09/11
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. >> jon: i was a little scared. it seems ironic michele bachmann came out against the vaccine for women while rick perry, the man, was sort of standing for women's health fighting hpv. >> it's not really that strange. in some ways it's a regional issue. minnesota doesn't have to worry about hpv as much because they wear so many layers. ( laughter ) finding genitals is next to impossible. take it from someone who wages at the st. paul's hooters. i'm willing to overlook congresswoman's bachmann's regional bias because she's the last female candidate in this race. race. >> jon: is that your truck? you drive a truck with truck nuts on them? >> they're lady nuts and i happen to like them. >> jon: isn't bachmann saying the hpv vaccine causes mental retardation. >> it is by all accounts flat out wrong. >> it is not even something that has been sucked. >> there's no evidence the vaccine causes mental retardation. >> jon: no, no, do not say his name. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> oh, man, there goes the market for my michele
. >> jon: i was a little scared. it seems ironic michele bachmann came out against the vaccine for women while rick perry, the man, was sort of standing for women's health fighting hpv. >> it's not really that strange. in some ways it's a regional issue. minnesota doesn't have to worry about hpv as much because they wear so many layers. ( laughter ) finding genitals is next to impossible. take it from someone who wages at the st. paul's hooters. i'm willing to overlook...
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Aug 23, 2011
08/11
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(laughter) >> jon: you seem to hate bookstore employees. >> oh, i loathe them, jon. they shove my books under humor, not witticism as i asked! do i look like "marpl duke" to you? (laughter) >> jon: marmaduke is a very big dog." (laughs) >> pathetic. we have to face facts, jon, the big box bookstore has passed into history. not something we should embrace and be proud of by preserving borders as a popular historical attraction. >> jon: like colonial williamsburg. >> exactly. bring the kids down to ye olde borderstown. let them see what it felt like to paw through a clearance bin of calendar or sneak a peek at pornography printed on actual paper on the giant rack of weird magazines you've never heard of. including my personal favorite "bookstore magazine rack aficionado magazine." >> jon: i think a bookstore preserve might appeal to a small market. >> can't be smaller than the market of people who bri books anyway. so what do you like? gather round, young' uns and see how we used to have book lights. in the 1980s an ice cream was a sign of wealth and books didn't glow.
(laughter) >> jon: you seem to hate bookstore employees. >> oh, i loathe them, jon. they shove my books under humor, not witticism as i asked! do i look like "marpl duke" to you? (laughter) >> jon: marmaduke is a very big dog." (laughs) >> pathetic. we have to face facts, jon, the big box bookstore has passed into history. not something we should embrace and be proud of by preserving borders as a popular historical attraction. >> jon: like colonial...
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Aug 12, 2011
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>>jon: thank you from iowa, chris. can you catch chris this weekend on "fox news sunday," sitting down with minnesota congresswoman and presidential candidate michele bachmann. that's sunday on fox news sunday. check your local listing and the entire debate can be seen tonight on fox news channel if you missed it last note we are showing the relay all the highlights from the candidates at 10:00 p.m. eastern right here on fox news channel. verizon officials claim someone intentionally cut phone service to an area where there is a hospital and a police department. the accusation comes amid a worker strike. union representatives say they do not condone illegal activity and now the feds are involved. >>jon: secretary of state hick heck calling out the seen president as his troops slaughter more people. the violent crackdown on the uprising against the president assad has killed nearly 2,000 people, and plume rights group report that syrian troops today killed at least another 14 protesters and we cannot confirm any of this
>>jon: thank you from iowa, chris. can you catch chris this weekend on "fox news sunday," sitting down with minnesota congresswoman and presidential candidate michele bachmann. that's sunday on fox news sunday. check your local listing and the entire debate can be seen tonight on fox news channel if you missed it last note we are showing the relay all the highlights from the candidates at 10:00 p.m. eastern right here on fox news channel. verizon officials claim someone...
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Sep 16, 2011
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>> jon: companies come and go all the time. it's not like the american people loned this company half a billion dollars and the company name sounds like one of those weird planets captain kirk found himself on, you know the ones that were just like earth only all the women wear orange. >> the california solar panel company solyndra, which received a major lone from the federal government only to collapse. >> solyndra received $535 billion in helene guarantees to expand production of cutting edge solar panels. >> earth to enterprize. how many money did we give those... idiots? spock, why didn't you warn me? terrible, captain kirk. sorry. all right, fine, so a solar panel company that we gave $500 million to collapsed. $500 million is only 1.3% of the money given out by the government's green energy program. most of the other companies that benefited from that money, sole awind, nuclear, they're doing fine. in truth thank you scandal would only be exploitable if the president had made this one particular company the postar child
>> jon: companies come and go all the time. it's not like the american people loned this company half a billion dollars and the company name sounds like one of those weird planets captain kirk found himself on, you know the ones that were just like earth only all the women wear orange. >> the california solar panel company solyndra, which received a major lone from the federal government only to collapse. >> solyndra received $535 billion in helene guarantees to expand...
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Nov 11, 2011
11/11
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i'm jon kelley. time to start it with christina loren. the rain all week long telling us it has arife rooifed. >> just in time for your morning drive. give yourself plenty of time if you're waking up with us along the peninsula. you can see from your radar, we have a lot coming into marin county. a little bit over san jose. there's more on the way. we have a lot more on the way. we'll tell you how long it will last, and we have the weekend forecast ready to go. >>> still ducking the rain in the south bay. watch for the crew to clear that. further south i have my eye on a small fire started after a minor accident at the cochran offramp. so far no lanes are blocked on the freeway. >> thank you very much, mike. occupy oakland could be taking down very soon. cries to break out the encampment are growing louder after a deadly shooting near the camp. christie smith joins us live at oakland. o occupy group is trying to distance itself from the violence. it may take the action that nearly is forced by the city. >>> good morning, laura. i just spo
i'm jon kelley. time to start it with christina loren. the rain all week long telling us it has arife rooifed. >> just in time for your morning drive. give yourself plenty of time if you're waking up with us along the peninsula. you can see from your radar, we have a lot coming into marin county. a little bit over san jose. there's more on the way. we have a lot more on the way. we'll tell you how long it will last, and we have the weekend forecast ready to go. >>> still ducking...
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Aug 12, 2011
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jon: and i'm jon scott. riding the moment from the big republican debate right now, many gop candidates are making a last minute push for support ahead of tomorrow's iowa straw poll. the poll considered an early barometer of where presidential hopefuls stand in the voters' minds. jenna: but not everyone on the stage last night is participating in tomorrow's event. chief political correspondent carl cameron is live at the iowa state fair in des moines. so, carl, set the scene for us. >> reporter: well, you know, the iowa state fair has a 100 year tradition, every day 100,000 people come through here which means it's sort of ground zero for the presidential candidates because it's a huge opportunity to meet iowans, the first in the nation caucus, and it comes right between last night's influential and very important debate and the straw poll tomorrow. many of the candidates are going to be coming through to shake hands, have pork chop on a stick, red bull smoothies are big with some reporters. it's an opportun
jon: and i'm jon scott. riding the moment from the big republican debate right now, many gop candidates are making a last minute push for support ahead of tomorrow's iowa straw poll. the poll considered an early barometer of where presidential hopefuls stand in the voters' minds. jenna: but not everyone on the stage last night is participating in tomorrow's event. chief political correspondent carl cameron is live at the iowa state fair in des moines. so, carl, set the scene for us. >>...
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. >> jon: wait, at its best? >> absolutely, jon. violent hatred of your neighborhoods gives you a permanent sense of purpose. something to cling to in times of trouble. europe is never more stable than when it's attacking itself. (laughter) >> jon: i appreciate the history of europe, but wars don't provide stability. >> what? of course they do! (laughter) jon, we had a hundred-year war! you don't get much more stable than that. (laughter) it's easy. all you have to do, every morning... >> jon: i don't think that's... >> every morning you get up and think "what will i do today? i know, i'll fight the french like i've been doing for the previous 99 years!" (laughter). >> jon: wars aren't... wars are terrible. >> yes. (laughter) but european wars do some great things. they stimulate the global economy, foster feelings of national pride, really help everyone blow off some steam and the movies about them are terrific! (laughter) i mean, "saving private ryan." come on, jon, that's a best picture winner right there. >> jon: actually, "savi
. >> jon: wait, at its best? >> absolutely, jon. violent hatred of your neighborhoods gives you a permanent sense of purpose. something to cling to in times of trouble. europe is never more stable than when it's attacking itself. (laughter) >> jon: i appreciate the history of europe, but wars don't provide stability. >> what? of course they do! (laughter) jon, we had a hundred-year war! you don't get much more stable than that. (laughter) it's easy. all you have to do,...
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Jul 25, 2011
07/11
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jon. jon: james rosen in washington. jenna: some of the top news items of the day, we have a whole lot more stories to get through. court action in the case of amanda knox. today's hearing spells out big problems with key evidence in her trial. how it affects her appeal just ahead. the debt drama, what is really going on at closed-door meetings aeupd at reaching a deal and will the president and lawmakers hammer out some sort of agreement before the deadline eight days away. patti ann is live at.com wall with three videos. >> reporter: three really hot tapes today. you have to go to foxnews.com and click on the happening now tab. the first one is moose on the loose. you might want to see a very interesting video of this moose wandering around shaking things up in idaho. earth u.s. open, not gulf or tennis, the u.s. open of sand castle. these are not just taking a pale and dumping it upside down, trust me. if you want to see these videos they are really good you'll want to vote for that one. a 14-year-old gets behind the
jon. jon: james rosen in washington. jenna: some of the top news items of the day, we have a whole lot more stories to get through. court action in the case of amanda knox. today's hearing spells out big problems with key evidence in her trial. how it affects her appeal just ahead. the debt drama, what is really going on at closed-door meetings aeupd at reaching a deal and will the president and lawmakers hammer out some sort of agreement before the deadline eight days away. patti ann is live...
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>> reporter: that's hopefully where it is. >> pelley: thank you, jon. what's behind an inn crease in the number of cops being investigated for alleged brutality? that story is next. >> pelley: in illinois, phen phene-- 15 prisoners are seeking to have their convictions overturned, claiming chicago cops tortured them into confessing. today a brief was fields by the former governor of illinois, jim thompson, supporter the prisoners' contentions. these kinds of questions are coming up in cities far beyond chicago. armen keteyian tells us that the justice department is stepping up prosecutions of cops for alleged civil rights violations all over the country. >> they treated him like he was a piece of dirt. just-- absolute from the get-go. >> reporter: jim chasse's 42-year-old son, james, was out for a walk in downtown portland, oregon in september 2006 when three police officers spotted what they later described as a peculiar, dirty young man. eyewitnesses say chasse, who suffered from schizophrenia, appeared frightened and when he ran, they say, he was cha
>> reporter: that's hopefully where it is. >> pelley: thank you, jon. what's behind an inn crease in the number of cops being investigated for alleged brutality? that story is next. >> pelley: in illinois, phen phene-- 15 prisoners are seeking to have their convictions overturned, claiming chicago cops tortured them into confessing. today a brief was fields by the former governor of illinois, jim thompson, supporter the prisoners' contentions. these kinds of questions are...
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Jun 26, 2011
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senator jon kyl. a "fox news sunday" exclusive. also, the president lays out his plan to pull troops from afghanistan. as congress challenges the commander-in-chief over libya. we'll ask our sunday group about both conflicts. >> not because i have an ideological -- >> chris: our heated exchange last week with the "daily show" jon stewart lit up the internet. today, we set the record straight. all right now on "fox news sunday." hello again from fox news in washington. tomorrow, the rising star in republican presidential politics michele bachmann officially opens her campaign in her hometown of waterloo, iowa. but first, she sits down with us for a "2012: one on one" interview. congresswoman, welcome back to "fox news sunday." >> thank you, chris. >> chris: you have faken -- taken off since the new hampshire debate. and the new poll from the "des moines register" shows that. in the likely republican caucusgoers, mitt romney is first with 23%. but you're right there with 22%. all the others as you can see are far behind. how do you a
senator jon kyl. a "fox news sunday" exclusive. also, the president lays out his plan to pull troops from afghanistan. as congress challenges the commander-in-chief over libya. we'll ask our sunday group about both conflicts. >> not because i have an ideological -- >> chris: our heated exchange last week with the "daily show" jon stewart lit up the internet. today, we set the record straight. all right now on "fox news sunday." hello again from fox news...
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Oct 9, 2011
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jon himself had doubts about david carson. just who was this guy? was he really who he claimed to be? >> i tried to do some research, trying to look up a name david carson, anything i could find, even a story about some family that died in a car crash in maine. >> and did you have any luck? >> no, i couldn't find anything. >> his father even had a criminal background check conducted on david carson, and that, too, came back clean. meanwhile, as jaime spent much of each week working in eugene, his wife is at the ranch with their grandsons and david. she seemed increasingly enchanted by the stranger, despite her being a generation older, especially after he began attending her church. >> whenever i would question or voice my suspicion, she would always come back with, well, he's such a great christian man, he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't swear, he's not a womanizer, and he's helped the kids, the kids love him. >> he sounds like a perfect guy. >> you couldn't ask for a better person. so whenever she'd go into this laundry list of things
jon himself had doubts about david carson. just who was this guy? was he really who he claimed to be? >> i tried to do some research, trying to look up a name david carson, anything i could find, even a story about some family that died in a car crash in maine. >> and did you have any luck? >> no, i couldn't find anything. >> his father even had a criminal background check conducted on david carson, and that, too, came back clean. meanwhile, as jaime spent much of each...
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jon. jon: from flooded fields to streets and roads underwater now homes and buildings in parts of louisiana also inundated. rick leventhal is live in amelia, louisiana keeping an eye on it for us. >> reporter: we are just outside morgan city about a hundred miles south of the morganza spillway. we talked to the louisiana army national guard that told us the water has reached highway i10. that is still 60, 70 miles from us here. it's a very slow advance of this floodwater. that's given people here time to build these hesco basket temporary floodwalls and levees. here in amelia they've built five to eight miles of the temporary walls to protect from the water. it's definitely high, the water table is high, but it has not yet reached the floodwalls which stretch all the way around this community which is the industrial hub of st. mary parish. they think they are well protected here, they won't know until the weekend when the floodwaters arrive and some time next week when it's expected to cre
jon. jon: from flooded fields to streets and roads underwater now homes and buildings in parts of louisiana also inundated. rick leventhal is live in amelia, louisiana keeping an eye on it for us. >> reporter: we are just outside morgan city about a hundred miles south of the morganza spillway. we talked to the louisiana army national guard that told us the water has reached highway i10. that is still 60, 70 miles from us here. it's a very slow advance of this floodwater. that's given...
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Feb 6, 2011
02/11
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>> i don't know. >> jon: there you go.
>> i don't know. >> jon: there you go.
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. >> jon: that's our show! join us tomorrow night at 11:00 where we incrementally remember how to do the show. (laughter) here it is, your moment of zen. >> where is jeffrey, j e-f-f-r-e-y? >> mike, can you hear he? yes, that is my name. mike, you got it, sir? >> okay, i just wanted to double check. i've never heard of an anchor there named jeffrey. ( theme song playing ) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you very much. (cheers and applause) welcome to the "report," everybody, thank you for joining us. (cheers and applause) that's really nice. thank you so much. please. thank you so much. thank you everybody down here. please, please. you're too kind. ladies and gentlemen, i... i have been on break for two weeks and while i was gone, the east coast was struck by an earthquake and a hurricane. (laughter) one more natural disaster and we get a free byron bit free blizz. in light of these events, i am forced to issue a rare public apo
. >> jon: that's our show! join us tomorrow night at 11:00 where we incrementally remember how to do the show. (laughter) here it is, your moment of zen. >> where is jeffrey, j e-f-f-r-e-y? >> mike, can you hear he? yes, that is my name. mike, you got it, sir? >> okay, i just wanted to double check. i've never heard of an anchor there named jeffrey. ( theme song playing ) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) (cheers and applause)...
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minnesota congresswoman michele bachmann, who is doing much better than expected; and former utah governor jon huntsman who has found rough going as the moderate in the race. it's all ahead on "face the nation." captioning sponsored by cbs from cbs news in washington, bob schieffer. >> schieffer: good morning again. welcome to "face the nation." we welcome republican presidential candidate michele bachmann. she is with us this morning from her home state of minnesota. she's in minneapolis. good morning, congresswoman. >> good morning, bob. good to be with you. >> schieffer: thank you. and to get the economy going, you and most of the republicans-- i want to just dive right in here-- are calling for reducing taxes on corporations. but yesterday sarah palin went all of you one better. she called for just eliminating all corporate taxes. listen to this. >> i propose to eliminate all federal corporate income tax. hear me out on this. ( cheers and applause ) this is how we create millions of high-paying jobs. to balance out any loss of federal revenue from this tax cut, we eliminate corporate welfa
minnesota congresswoman michele bachmann, who is doing much better than expected; and former utah governor jon huntsman who has found rough going as the moderate in the race. it's all ahead on "face the nation." captioning sponsored by cbs from cbs news in washington, bob schieffer. >> schieffer: good morning again. welcome to "face the nation." we welcome republican presidential candidate michele bachmann. she is with us this morning from her home state of minnesota....